Kucing Gatal Speaks

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Got this email recently, and am pasting it here verbatim as there is just so much going on.

Dear Kucing,

I'm moving to Malaysia very soon...

I'm a Canadian citizen but also have Bangladeshi passports since my parents are from there- I am totally Western in outlook and everything...I was wondering...

do Malaya girls like Canadians or guys that look Arabic/Afghan/Latino/Italian/Indian/Tajik/Uzbek? my skine tone is olive skinned and I am very light brown but can also pass for Indonesia/Malaysian..

i was gonna ask ya...I would luv to get Malaysian citizenship...

are Malaysian girls liberal or conservative?

if i get a malaya chick pregnant...do I gotta legally get married to a Malaya chick to get citizenship and for how long do i gotta stay with her? can i take her with me to Canada? i also wanna keep a harem in Malaysia because I am a sex addict...

which city is the best to live and study post grad?

in terms of making $$$?

when i cum to Malaysia...can u find me a 3500 sq foot house/appartement/complex and Malaya girls that I can get jiggy with?

polygamy is legal in malaysia...right?

 - Salman Hossain -


Kucing Gatal says:

Dear Salman,

Malay girls like men who treat them well, whatever they may look like. 

Malaysian girls are both liberal and conservative. It's your luck which type you end up with. 

If you get any girl pregnant, you should do the right thing and marry her. Although judging by your letter, you sound like a cad who just wants a good time and an easy way to Malaysian citizenship. So please do the world a favour and wear condoms. I don't recommend you have offspring until you're a bit more mature and realise the responsibility that comes with parenthood, planned or otherwise. 

You can take your wife anywhere, including Canada, Afghanistan, the US, India, China, Indonesia, Burkina Faso, etc, as long as she has a passport and any valid visas required.

All cities in Malaysia are awesome to live in. I don't know where you can study post grad because I don't know what course you want to do. 

In terms of making $$$, you can make $$$, $$$$, even $$$$$ if you work hard wherever you are. Except prison.

For your accommodation needs, I suggest you try this wonderful magical tool called Google. It can provide you with answers to almost anything. As for Malay girls to get jiggy with, I am certainly not a pimp. Socialise, be nice, and the girls will flock to you. 

Personally, I don't condone polygamy but yes it is legal.

Hope this helps,
Kucing Gatal

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a bemused Meow.