Kucing Gatal Speaks

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Party people

A few nights ago I was at a party and as usual indulged in my favourite pastime: people watching. There were the usual stereotypes - the popular group made up of cheerful, good-looking guys and girls dressed to kill and oozing with confidence; the slutty group made up of slim, sexy girls who couldn't afford to get enough material for a real dress and had to make do with little pieces of cloth wrapped around their boobs and hips; the boisterous drunks laughing louder and louder as the night progressed and the alcohol flowed freely; the cool group dressed in black huddled together, having a private, presumably intelligent, conversation; the socially awkward individuals who stood around here and there trying desperately to blend in and failing miserably; the people watchers like yours truly, mingling here and there and observing other partygoers during lulls in conversations.

It's amazing how much you can tell about a person from their behaviour at parties and realise how you've totally misjudged them. That girl you thought was quiet and nerdy, turning into a total party animal with the help of a couple of lethal cocktails; that guy you thought was an aloof jerk making a genuine effort to get to know you, the boss you thought was a no-nonsense strict guy being the life of the party and having a jolly good time, the girl you thought was your good friend busy flirting with the guy you've got your eye on (and you struggling not to claw her eyes out), etc.

My main observation that evening was that guys are way ahead of the girls in terms of confidence. Even the shortest, fattest, geekiest, most pockmarked guy would think he resembled Tom Cruise in some way and wouldn't hesitate to approach a girl if he thought he stood a chance.

Contrast this with the confidence factor in women (usually hovering around the zero mark). Even the most beautiful woman, dressed in the most stunning outfit, and looking more gorgeous than Aishwarya Rai, would occasionally be consumed with doubts about her own looks and attributes, and would wonder why men weren't approaching her.

Now this is something I've observed: men are attracted to confident women. Let's say two women are seated side by side - one is really pretty but is sitting with her arms folded and is looking down at the floor, at the walls, not meeting people's eyes. The other is so-so but she's smiling at everyone, holding a drink casually, making small talk with anyone who comes her way. Unless the guy is looking for a challenge, he is more likely to approach the second one.

Also, some guys naturally assume that the good looking one is high maintenance and would be a bitch. Of course, it doesn't stop them from trying to get into her pants.

One grouse that I have is that some guys use pretty women's plain-looking friends to get to know the pretty one. This is an underhanded tactic which makes the plain one feel attractive and loved for a while until they realise they are just being used. To those who favour this kind of tactic, karma's gonna bite you in the ass one day.

To those of you wondering what the point of this whole post is, there isn't one. I'm just listing out my general observations of human behaviour at a party. Feel free to add your own observations, comment about the stereotypes or agree with my assessment. Condemning my opinions or this post will shorten your life by about 2 whole days thanks to the hatred I will telepathically direct at you.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with an observant Meow.


  • spot on kucing!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 27, 2005 12:42 PM  

  • I'm the kind of guy who normally huddles around with a couple of good friends for a good, solid conversation when at parties, and I get so engrossed in my conversations that I tend to not notice the people around me. But basically, yeah, your description of people fits mine too.

    I'd like to ask about one thing though, regarding this statement:

    "Contrast this with the confidence factor in women (usually hovering around the zero mark). Even the most beautiful woman, dressed in the most stunning outfit, and looking more gorgeous than Aishwarya Rai, would occasionally be consumed with doubts about her own looks."

    What do you mean by beautiful women having near-zero confidence? The resplendent women that I've met and talked with hardly seem to be insecure. Maybe that's just my being unable to penetrate their minds/hearts, but it does seem so (that they're damn confident).

    I say that them sexy women are confident, because they look as if they are readily able to reject us or say no. They seem to be be the empowered ones in this situation. Although, some of us can actually laugh away at them, in front of them lagi tu, if diorang ni perasan that we're after them, when we're actually not. My friends have. (Kejam jugak la.)

    I believe that beautiful women are confident. They are confident, because they know that we're interested in them. So I don't really get what you mean by women being inconfident, because I think that title goes to men. I know lots of inconfident guys.

    Me? I'm neutral. Call me stupid, but I don't flirt or go for women at parties. That, I reserve for other occasions. When at parties, I hang out with the boys, :P

    By Blogger xaph, at October 27, 2005 12:44 PM  

  • Xaph, of course I was generalising as usual - you're right that many women are confident, but they all get bouts of insecurity once in a while. They all have days where they feel bloated/unattractive/etc. It helps when they know someone is attracted to them, this of course injects a healthy dose of confidence into them. It's when nobody is paying them any attention that they feel those doubts creeping in. I'm sure if some girl was interested in you, you'd face her with a good deal of confidence, right?

    By Blogger Kucing Gatal, at October 27, 2005 12:57 PM  

  • people-watching is fun!

    By Blogger cyber-red, at October 27, 2005 2:32 PM  

  • Confidence? Well...depends.

    If she was super hot, I'd get scared, but I'd still be cool with the situation. However, if she was super hot and super nice/polite (the latter is a total turn-on for me), I'd start questioning myself as to why she'd even bother to take the time to talk to me, heh.

    I'm a confident guy and I know that I am; I have no problems with meeting people and taking over the world, but heh, beautiful women still scare the shit out of me. Damn you pretty females. Heh.

    By Blogger xaph, at October 27, 2005 3:19 PM  

  • Xaph hangs out with the boys to talk about the girls around =P

    Anyway, I agree that beautiful women aren't the most confident ones around. They may look confident but deep down inside, I can bet my last penny that they're asking themselves 101 questions and doubting this and that.

    I love beautiful and polite women. They're gorgeous physically and at heart too. So hard to find women like that nowadays. My boyfriend sure is lucky to have found one. WAHAHAHHAHAHA..damn I'm conceited =P

    I dah lama never ppl watch adi lah. Boring betul.

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at October 27, 2005 4:12 PM  

  • S-kay, we don't talk about girls; we talk about manly stuff, like our toys and cool gadgets (PDAs, handphones, tools), cars, guitars, current events, a bit of politics (which usually becomes a heated argument), and, well... babes.

    Okay, maybe we do talk about women, heh.

    Yeah, beautiful and polite women are a rarity nowadays. You rarely find both traits in one person.

    If they're beautiful, they're often conceited, obsessed with their physical endowments, and couldn't care less about the beautification of their inner self. But if they're nice and polite, then they're probably so because they're not beautiful enough to become as bimbotic as the first group.

    Of course, all of what I've been saying was just a sweeping generalization, so feel free to point out any mistakes.

    By Blogger xaph, at October 28, 2005 2:28 AM  

  • I agree with you. Those who are not that pretty, they tend to make up for it through their inner self beauty. Those who are pretty, they tend to overlook the inner beauty because they think that external beauty is all they need.

    But there are also those averagely pretty and nice ones around. So if you guys aren't too picky, you can find them anywhere. As people have said before, Love if blind.....but I never believed that is literally means that you see your other half as good looking but others see him as some rat looking monkey hence the 'love is blind' thingy.

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at October 28, 2005 12:00 PM  

  • Sexually stimulating content. Do continue blogging new articles.

    Cheers & best regards,

    Zack & Anne

    By Blogger manwoman, at October 28, 2005 3:45 PM  

  • I've people-watched the same person at two parties. They're definitely more attractive when chitchating, making small talk etc.

    To get attention, give attention.

    Works for me.... ;)

    By Blogger plink, at October 28, 2005 4:25 PM  

  • the term inner beauty was coined by a group of ugly chicks.

    u sometimes can tell the person is single or attached @ a party.

    By Blogger The Squatter, at November 02, 2005 11:17 AM  

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