Kucing Gatal Speaks

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Love Hurts

This cat's in a sticky situation.

For the past couple of months, I've gotten to know a certain someone rather well. A man who's intelligent, articulate, funny, gentlemanly and most of all, sweet. So sweet you want to eat him.

The new guy at work - such a cliche, isn't it?

At first I didn't even notice his existence. It was only after several encounters in the lift, with him holding the door open for me, making small talk, getting off at the same floor, that I realised he worked in the same company (can you tell I'm not super observant?)

Anyway this blur Kucing finally found out who he was. Same company, different department. Only his second job - he quit the first one after 5 years of thankless work at a well-known multinational in KL. Young, bright, the kind who'll climb the corporate ladder pretty fast.

Encounters in the lift quickly escalated to short tea breaks, then long lunches. We have this connection that I can't explain. We both love the same things, think of the same thing at the same time, sometimes finish each other's sentences, and most importantly, can sit together in companionable silence.

This guy is everything I want in a man.

I found out last week he's married. This time I can't blame my lack of observation. He doesn't wear a ring, and not once has he mentioned his wife. I found out through someone else, and then later when I asked him, he was quite happy to talk about his marriage. Seems it's a happy one.

I don't know what his reasons are for not mentioning it earlier. But I'm stuck because I've truly fallen for him - and it goes against my strongest principle: Don't go for taken men.

I can't stop thinking about him, and it's driving me crazy. Just last night I dreamt that we were on a company trip, and after dinner, he stayed back to talk to me while everyone else headed for their own rooms. We had a long conversation, then he wrapped his arms around me and we had the sweetest kiss ever. I woke up feeling hollow, feeling angry at myself, yet still imagining the warmth of his embrace.

I know the best thing would be to forget him, just treat him as a friend, nothing more. But when you've been searching your whole life for a certain someone, and thought you'd found him, how do you forget him? How can you see him almost every day and not show your true feelings? How do you move on?

I am in love - and all I can feel is heartbreak.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with an anguished Meow.

15 Comments:

  • Sorry, you are going down the road of no return. Wake up and turn back. The road ahead will be full of heart-break for you if you don't...for the simple reason he is not available. Once again, sorry :)

    By Anonymous Bengbeng, at December 17, 2006 4:24 PM  

  • You either forget about him or break those principles of yours and go for it. Maybe the 2 of you were meant to be together.

    By Anonymous Sensual Sophia, at December 17, 2006 4:24 PM  

  • so what if you are dating a married man? Enjoy it while you can......

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 18, 2006 1:13 PM  

  • sorry this sucks. get over it move on. stop seeing him it will be best.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 18, 2006 5:51 PM  

  • Percutian yg sgt panjang dari update, harapnya segar lah. Lelaki itu bahagia dengan perkahwinannya, lupakan je lah. Kau tak akan mahu menjadi "perempuan lain" itu.

    By Anonymous AskarJahat, at December 19, 2006 11:56 AM  

  • kucing gatal?

    mengapa tak melihat di
    http://jamilkucingpondan.blogspot.com

    menarik

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 27, 2006 11:04 AM  

  • Hey. I'm curious. If the guy is not happily married and would like to be with you, would you accept him?

    I'm currently on the same boat. Never wanted to be a 3rd party but I've fallen for him n he confessed feeling the same way. What do u think?

    By Anonymous Lover, at December 28, 2006 12:50 AM  

  • it takes two to tango. seems to me he's taken it to be more than just platonic - long lunches & companionable silence sure doesn't sound like your typical relationship with a colleague. so if you think it's worth it, go ahead. i've been on the receiving end before, it wasn't a good feeling but then again i was glad it happened. if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 28, 2006 9:46 AM  

  • Just back off! And wake up!!! and move on! U'll be orait!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 28, 2006 12:44 PM  

  • *sigh*

    The good ones are all taken....

    *hugs for Kucing*

    By Blogger plink, at December 29, 2006 2:19 AM  

  • hhmm.. i'm at the same sikon but with different setup. it's been a year by last dec 23 and i'm stuck going nowhere but thinking about her all day long. do not know why i insisted to find her anyway, after about 20 years not seeing each other. hope i can sign-in for another job at middle-east soonest..as it is becoming an affair..well it is..

    By Anonymous kucinggarong, at December 29, 2006 6:58 PM  

  • Going after another woman's boyfriend, lest husband is always WRONG. Stick to your principles and turn back, no matter how much it hurts. Coz remember this - what goes around comes around.

    Happy New Year!

    By Blogger anjali*, at January 02, 2007 7:34 PM  

  • It's WRONG, ... and you know it. The guy has got to be really dense (if not downright deceitful) to go for all those long lunches / tea breaks with you with ont a word of the missus till you mentioned it.

    Laugh it off, Kucing... shit happens. Three wipes, and FLUSH!

    By Blogger Keropok, at January 03, 2007 12:19 PM  

  • Good news - I'm over him :)

    Plus I found out he's cheating on his wife with some other woman. Not such a great guy after all!

    Happy New Year, everyone. And thanks for the positive comments :)

    By Blogger Kucing Gatal, at January 05, 2007 4:50 PM  

  • thank god for the good news. hehe... suami orang that you don't really know his status is fine. but i really do hate suami orang that claimed he is either single or duda just to get into your pants. gler sneaky.

    i hate it!!!

    By Blogger evil_shandye, at January 09, 2007 11:38 AM  

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