Kucing Gatal Speaks

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Kucing Gatal’s Guide to Bahasa Badan

“Eh Kucing, how to tell when a girl likes me, ah?” asks a shy friend. Ah, the age-old problem. Shy boy meets girl, girl flirts with boy, shy boy is so dungu he doesn’t read the signs, and blows the opportunity.

So here is Kucing Gatal’s simple guide to body language for all shy people out there.

(1) He/she makes a lot of eye contact with you. Now, if someone doesn’t like you, they’re unlikely to try and catch your eye, or look directly at you while talking. So if that hot girl/guy looks at you a lot, especially while actually talking to someone else, it’s a positive sign.
Note: if a scary looking person is staring at you from across the room, and doesn’t look away even when you stare right back, and doesn’t smile either, make a run for it. Use your intuition, ok?

(2) He/she finds any excuse to talk to you, even if it’s just to ask where the toilet is. If you’re in a crowd, and you’ve been singled out to talk to, then take this as a positive sign. [OK, this is not strictly body language but it’s a very good telltale sign]
Note: this does not work if you’re working as an usher/doorman/ security guard/information officer/etc. In all those cases, if people are asking you where the toilet is, do NOT follow them thinking that they want a quickie with you. You’ll be looking for a new job in no time.

(3) For guys: if she thrusts her boobs forward while talking to you, this is a very good sign that she’s interested. If she sits with her legs and arms crossed, chances are she’s either very shy, in which case you’re wasting your time if you’re looking for a quickie, or she’s just not interested.

(4) For girls: if he tries to grab you in a playful manner, poke you, play with your hair, it’s a very strong sign that he’s keen on you. Of course, if he crosses the line and tries to molest you, kick him where it hurts, kick him again to let the message sink in, then walk coolly away.

(5) If he/she starts fiddling with things while you’re both deep in conversation, it means he/she is nervous, probably wanting desperately to make a good impression on you.
Note: if he/she is fiddling with a blade/knife/extra sharp toothpick/ weapon of any kind, get out of there ASAP.

There are a lot more tips, but Kucing Gatal thinks these are the most obvious. More importantly, these signs have been personally tested and come with the Kucing Gatal stamp of guarantee.

[Disclaimer: behaviour varies from human to human so Kucing Gatal will not be held responsible if these methods do not work, or if anything untoward happens. Apply at your own risk!]

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a warm Meow!


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