Kucing Gatal Speaks

Friday, February 02, 2007

Premature Problem

An email from a troubled reader:

Kucing - first and foremost, i believe salutations are in order: happy 2007 & may this be your best year yet. have been lurker on your blog for quite a while now, it's great to see you continuing after your hiatus. in any case, here's a little something i thought you can help me with. i have a query that perhaps fellow readers can help answer. no, am also not discounting the fact that you might have a solution too!

i've noticed of late that sex tends to be a relatively quick affair. i don't claim to be a stud, i'm not god's gift to womenkind but i don't think that i'm a complete dud either. i used to be able to at least hold a lovemaking session beyond more than just a couple of strokes. however, the past few month's encounters have been dissatisfyingly short & I'd cum after a few minutes (which is a shame because i truly enjoy sex. then again, who doesn't but let's not get into that!). Now, i'm a spring chicken no longer but i do consider myself relatively fit for someone in his mid 30s. i thought men's propensity for premature ejaculation decreases with age. The intensity is still the same its just that I'm not able to control my cum as well as before. maybe you can help post this for sharing with your readers & see what they think. would welcome all advise & solutions. keep meowing!

cheers
krayyonkidd

Kucing Gatal says:

Dear Krayyonkidd,

First of all, apologies for responding to your letter so late. Been totally busy these last few weeks.

Now on to your problem. I'm assuming that you don't have any erection problems, just ejaculation problems - correct me if I'm wrong.

You're in your mid-30s which isn't old at all, so we can't blame old age for this problem. And you're obviously well experienced and get lots of sex, so it can't be because you've abstained for months and the sexual pleasure is too much to bear for your little friend.

In situations like this, where I do not have the answers in my mind (it's been somewhat vacuous recently), I turn to the God of Everything-You-Need-To-Know. Google.

And Google showed me the answers.

Potential causes of premature ejaculation:
  • A side effect of taking certain drugs - even over-the-counter ones such as cold pills.
  • Stress on the job or in a relationship
  • A serious psychological condition such as obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • A result of a physical problem, such as a urinary tract infection.
  • Haven't learned to manage their bodies' reactions properly during sexual arousal (which I think is safe to rule out in your case, Krayyonkidd).
Possible solutions:
  • Stop the drugs (jauhkan diri daripada dadah, even over-the-counter ones)
  • Take a holiday if you're stressed
  • Don't focus only on your own enjoyment - take the time to pleasure your partner too
  • Apparently there's a Velcro-type device available in the market. It's called a testicular restraint and the idea is to restrain the testicles from their natural tendency to move during sex, which helps some men delay ejaculation. Good luck trying to get it past our vigilant customs officials ("Apa benda ni?")
  • Here's a toughie - try not to think about sex when you're having it. Occupy your mind with something else, such as whether nasi lemak tastes better with a sliver of hard boiled egg or a pathetic little omelette scrap. Of course, the downside (heh heh) to this is pretty obvious. For those who are slow, I mean you could lose your erection.
  • Wear a condom - makes your penis less sensitive
  • See your doctor if you suspect it could be a physical or psychological problem
Climaxing too fast is no fun to both parties involved - it's an embarrassing, frustrating and disappointing problem. I hope that these solutions can help you regain control and stop your willy from spewing early.

Any readers out there who had this problem and found a way to solve it? Krayyonkidd would love to hear your solutions!

Hope this helps,
Kucing Gatal

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a mature Meow.

9 Comments:

  • Can you hold out the second time after your first ejaculation? Maybe a good approach would be to be honest with your partner. Try giving her non-penetration climax first (that way, you put her pleasure first, and she'll love that); tell her to expect an early ejaculation; but also show her that after the first one, you're able to take her to heaven and back and heaven and back again ... for a long, long time.

    - not a stud, either -

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 02, 2007 9:25 AM  

  • Welcome back, Kucing! Sorry, missed your last post.

    Regards
    can

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 02, 2007 9:40 AM  

  • i'm not a stud either, but from my experience, after so long not having sex, the first session is always too quick, but the second, third and so forth session (in one night) would be very loooonnngg...hehehe it doesn't have to be one session per night, no?

    By Anonymous RodRiguez, at February 02, 2007 9:46 AM  

  • mannn... dont we all go older??? cant always perform as if you were young anymore... fact of life lah...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 02, 2007 10:18 AM  

  • Well, this problem is definitely something i personally can relate to.

    My partner and I have tried a variety of solutions and I've read up on the topic myself. If wearing a condom and not thinking about sex doesn't help, there's a way to train (or rather restrain) the premature ejaculation. If the PE occurs between 5-7 minutes into the act, train masturbating and holding it until 15-min mark. If that fails, another way will be to vary the speed and the depth of your thrusts. When you feel it coming, slow down. Instead of going all in, tease her with light thrusts and pay more attention to her other erogenous zones like the earlobes or the neck, collarbone region.

    Another possibility could be the lack of variety of the sex position. Trying a new position may help too. Good luck and have fun! :)

    By Anonymous Stan, at February 04, 2007 12:39 AM  

  • haha, good blog... i didnt know that kuching has an online agony aunt. well done...

    By Anonymous blueheeler, at February 04, 2007 3:42 PM  

  • many thanks for the advise from krayyonkidd

    you are right, it doesn't have to be single shot deal, now to put in the convincing argument that it'll be worth the effort for a 2nd or even 3rd round :-)

    to stan - i've been trying your suggestions, have also been doing fairly regular kagel exercises even before that. what i noticed was that as you begin to lose muscle tone round the abdomen, the control of the ejaculative muscles seem to feel less & less. i could try doing situps again, that would probably help, not to mention maybe lose a few inches too...

    but some light at the end of the tunnel - last week was..... :D she came first & that to me, seeing, hearing, feeling & smelling her writhe, tense up & completely letting go was so intoxicating it was well worth the admission. so i'm now guessing that the spate of subpar performance was partly psychological - work, lethargy, timing/frequency miscues etc.

    my realization is that at this stage in life, you can actually have too much sex, as much as i hate to even think of admitting it. thanks to kucing for helping out & thanks again to all of you for your advise.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 06, 2007 11:44 AM  

  • knock one out by yourself first. slay the rumpled foreskin. shake hands with your prime minister. choke the monkey.

    then you will relax. ahhh...

    By Blogger Keropok, at February 12, 2007 4:20 PM  

  • Good to have you back.
    Keep those grey matters running and the typewriter busy (well oh ok keyboard for dat matter) :)

    By Blogger DrFrappucino, at February 14, 2007 1:42 PM  

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