Kucing Gatal Speaks

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Pregnancy jitters

I read agony aunt columns whenever I come across them as I am curious to see what problems people are facing. There's one that keeps popping up every now and then - some young girl who fears she's pregnant due to unprotected sex.

Although many people will scoff at the girl's plight and say serves you right for having sex in the first place (in most cases the girl is unmarried or having an affair), I sometimes sympathise with them.

Because I once went through that same fear.

I had a one-week stand, which I usually don't do - I'm not really in favour of "hit-and-runs" - but I made an exception in this case. I'd known him for some time but the relationship turned sexual only after a few months. In fact, I use the term sexual loosely because really, there wasn't much sex at all.

He wined and dined me, and then tried to get me to go to bed with him. Initially I refused to go all the way because something in the back of my mind (with hindsight it was probably just plain old common sense) told me to be careful. But he kept persisting and eventually we ended up in bed. I had not planned to go all the way (especially since there were no condoms available) but this guy was smooth and before I knew it, it had happened. He was inside and I shrieked and kicked him off. He did not get in a huff and leave, as I had thought he would. Unexpectedly, he actually apologised and held me till we both fell asleep. I thought maybe it was an accident and he really was a decent fellow. Unfortunately this was a true blue jantan.

The next morning he showered and left. After that communication was sporadic at best. He would call whenever he was horny and wanted some company. We met up a couple more times but I never let it get that far again. And after a week I said enough was enough and brought the relationship back to the platonic level. We still talk occasionally but never bring up the "incident".

Anyway, my period, which was due a couple of weeks later, was late. I am very regular so this concerned me. Three days, five, then 10 passed without any sign of that monthly occurrence. I started to get worried and tried to remember if the guy had actually ejaculated. It hadn't seemed like it at that time, but then again, from reading all those agony aunt columns, I've learned that even the smallest amount can get you pregnant if the timing is right.

I started cursing him mentally. It hit me all of a sudden - if I was pregnant, how was I going to explain it to the world? Would the guy take responsibility? What if I had to go through it all alone? I was filled with all these thoughts and worries.

I scolded myself over and over again for being so careless. I confided in a close friend of mine who also scolded me over and over again. "Bodoh!" she kept repeating. After venting, she calmed down and we went to a pharmacy to buy a pregnancy kit. I bought the most expensive one I could find, needing to be absolutely sure that the results were correct. If it was positive, I would probably have a nervous breakdown, then find a good gynae. I hadn't decided anything beyond that.

I took the test and waited.

And prayed.

It turned out negative and I was so relieved that I actually cried. My period came 2 hours later, confirming my non-pregnant state.

And so now when I read about similar cases in the agony aunt columns, I can sympathise. However, I must say here that I do not condone sex with or between minors, so adik-adik, if you are below the age of 18 (in fact I'd say 21 to be on the safe side), do not engage in such behaviour. You're not ready to deal with the consequences!

And for the rest, please use a condom if you don't want accidents!

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a relieved Meow.

20 Comments:

  • toking bout 'accidents', one should know better tat even b4 major ejaculation, there's such a thing called pre-cum and tat is good enuf if u're so unlucky (to some maybe the opposite) u'll get preggie.

    but then at the heat of the moment, all this tot will be gone when ur one MAJOR objective is to get it in.

    to prevent this u better be on some birth control plan.

    the other problem is the more u worry, the later ur period will cum. some resort to taking something to make it come faster. As some say "boh lai, chiak ong lai"

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 24, 2005 8:57 AM  

  • Wah ! the guy not cool la. Lin Peh always carry umbrella to be safe and dun want to see children running around in town all look like Lin Peh wan. Panic la !

    By Blogger Lin Peh, at November 24, 2005 12:06 PM  

  • Nice blog. Very well written stories. Perhaps some real nude pictures of yourself would make it even better...can't wait to read and see more...

    By Blogger manwoman, at November 25, 2005 10:06 AM  

  • Why eat ong lai...go see doctor only lah. LOL. Check whether pregnant or not..and then if not, ask for medicine. Say you've been stressed up lately and you dun want your cycle to go bonkers. They'll give you one.

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at November 25, 2005 11:17 AM  

  • knowing locals, they most probably go for traditional methods, ong lai, dates etc. if kenot work, then go for otc prescriptions. If all fails, then visit doc

    S-Kay, din have on one of those encounters b4 ?

    -Max

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 25, 2005 12:09 PM  

  • ver good advice kucing...i guess that taught u a VERY valuable lesson huh? ;)

    By Anonymous yvy, at November 25, 2005 2:37 PM  

  • Kucing Gatal, a very poignant post indeed. Millions of other girls around the world share your sentiments.

    I am uncertain of the local stats in Malaysia, but in the States, most girls succumb to the pressures of 'true blue jantans' primarily because of peer pressure, the lack of self-esteem and a yearning for affection. The wiles of the jantan are not to be discounted either as they prey on such vulnerable souls.

    There needs to be a thorough Sex Education curriculum for our young lasses. Incorporated in that said subject would be boy/girl relationships, confidence-building modules and constant drumming to the kids that its OK to say 'no'. And if the other party crosses that line, its considred rape. Your blurb actually borders that line on rape as you didn't want to have sex, Kucing.

    Until and unless we educate our young, rape cases, abortions, juvenile pregnancy, unwanted and dumped babies are going to continue to be a daily occurence.

    By Anonymous Marko, at November 25, 2005 2:39 PM  

  • Anon : What encounters? Period come late? If you talking bout that, I tell you..everytime when I get stressed up when I used to work last time...they always come late. Have to go to the doc to get a pill to make it come because I didn't wanna screw up my cycle but the doc made me take preg test instead. CEH. Nvmlah..then he gave me this pill..called Preg-something. Looklah..the pill also make as though you're really pregnant. Imagine if ppl saw the label, they'd think that I'm pregnant instead of my period coming late!

    I've never tried dates or ong lai but I avoid them during the time of the month. That includes tea too. Heh. I'm not much of a traditional med kinda person.

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at November 25, 2005 3:57 PM  

  • Not knowing if you're pregnant can be a very lonely time. Little wonder that young women run away from home and try dangerous things like backstreet abortions.
    Where is the Masyarakat Penyayang then? Why is the woman guilty and the man 'just being a man?'
    Why are these young women too afraid to come to their parents, siblings and their friends for help?

    By Blogger plink, at November 25, 2005 10:39 PM  

  • Young girls are too afraid to go to their parents because they fear that the man of the family would disown them. This is usually common among Chinese families. As for siblings, it depends on how closely knitted their relationship is. Usually, young women who suffer from this would try their best to help themselves because they are ashamed and afraid hence they seek backstreet abortions which they do not know will cause more harm than good (to their womb when not done properly and with extreme care)

    I wish I can say more but unfortunately I can't. No side thoughts, it was not me who got pregnant..LOL

    But all I can say is (to young girls), no matter how angry your parents may get, consult them..you would definitely have to pay the price for your mistakes later but your family will still love you no matter what. They will support you no matter what (unlike your coward partners). If you're underage, go to certified private doctors and tell them to conduct the abortion as careful as possible. They would understand. They would most probably ask you to come back from time to time to check the health of your womb. Before the abortion process, they might take one or two appointments to talk to you and go through the whole process with you and prepare you mentally. These are what you can't get with backstreet doctors

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at November 26, 2005 1:08 AM  

  • abortion is illegal in M'sia and if u're underage it's statutory rape. Think again Ms S-Kay. Not tat easy.

    if u're a man, don't do underage. if u're a gal, think protection. 5 mins of pleasure unprotected is no fun when u have 9 months to worry about and a lifetime tat maybe wasted.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 26, 2005 8:32 AM  

  • I know what I'm talking and I did not open my mouth without thinking ;) It is statutory rape if you press charges but what if it was of your consent? In the light of law, he did indeed 'raped' you but you yourself know that you gave him full consent, if you're angry, you might lie. So back to the abortion discussion, if you know a private doctor, they will do it for you with valid reasons (not backstreet doctors who do not have proper equipments). Read anon, read...I did not say the act was legal. I'm talking about going to private hospitals and clinics, not belakang lorong abortion centres. It's more hygienic and they're more professional compared to those backstreet ones. Since you're aborting, might as well do it properly right? And well, this is Malaysia, the land of pirated VCDs and all that sort..do think it would be hard to get an abortion at these places? Think anon, think =) It can be that easy.

    But like what you said, one need not go through these troubles if one had protection on. I am definitely not encouraging unprotected sex just because I'm giving people ideas on how to get around after being pregnant because those are for people yang sudah terlanjur and have no other solutions.

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at November 26, 2005 10:24 AM  

  • sorry if i seem too harsh on u, SK. lets be frens, i buy you teh tarik ok.. :)

    ok.. consent or not it's still statutory rape if u're underage, from wat i know.

    as far as i know, abortion can only be carried out for medical reasons ie harm to the mummy. other than tat it's illegal, from wat i know.

    BUT.. of coz there's a lot of docs out there doing it for a fee..if they kena tangkap, lesen gantung i think..

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 26, 2005 7:18 PM  

  • food for tots

    http://www.ageofconsent.com/singapore.htm

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 26, 2005 7:29 PM  

  • ermm, gatal alrite..:)..hey..juz kiddin...juz kiddin

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 27, 2005 9:31 PM  

  • nuthin 2 do with yr post. Just 2 let u noe. see the time in yr statcounter against my comment time. c my ip address n location, u wud get i think, US or Canada. Not that accurate yr stat counter. Just for yr info, that's all.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 28, 2005 3:44 AM  

  • Anon : Teh Tarik kurang manis u know..LOL

    It's definitely stat rape if underage. But then you know how some families are right? If lets say both the kids gatal..so both also at wrong. They would definitely go to private hosp for abortion. Which doc duwan to make money man! =P Lesen kena gantung but hosp still allow it. Bodoh betul. And then when doc gets into trouble, the hosp would say to their docs "You kena gantung, you punya pasal". What happened to vicarious liability man.

    By Anonymous S-Kay, at November 28, 2005 4:44 PM  

  • men don't get preggy so they dun worry so much. if duwan to take responsibility they can always cabut...

    so gals hafta be careful not to get preggy.

    actually i think quite a lot of places offer abortion but it's kinda do it at ur own risk kinda thingy. if anything goes wrong both party oso difficult to report coz it's illegal

    MAMAK! TEH TARIK KURANG MANIS ONE...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at November 29, 2005 8:59 AM  

  • The best way to avoid unwanted pregnancies is abstinence, boys and girls ;)

    Ladies, you'll always risk being with a man who wants to shirk all responsibilities, so better be safe than sorry.

    And yes, some people have said that what happened to me could be constituted as rape, but since nothing happened, I learned from it and moved on.

    If this ever happens to you, turn to a trusted one for help. Don't try and bear it all by yourself. Your family will care for you no matter what happens, even though they may be understandably upset.

    By Blogger Kucing Gatal, at November 29, 2005 9:21 AM  

  • cover your stump before you hump id say.

    By Anonymous tarehhensem, at November 30, 2005 4:10 PM  

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