Ada apa dengan football?

It's coming up to that time again where prolonged sulks, withheld sex and even nude parades in front of the TV will fail to grab your man's attention . I'm talking, of course, about that once-every-four-years scourge for women everywhere, the World Cup.

Ladies, pay attention. Most jantans are going to be completely absorbed and distracted next month. They will be very eager to discuss the finer points of every match with you, but don't expect them to pay the same amount of attention to everyday stuff like your new haircut, the wonderful meal you just cooked, your terrible day at work, etc. Unless of course you can somehow fit football in, for example: "Sayang, today my boss shouted at one of my colleagues just like how that fellow shouted at his footballer, that famous guy what's his name, Beckem or whatever, and made him leave the team ..."

Which is when your man's ears will perk up and correct you: "You mean Beckham, and 'that fellow' you mentioned is Alex Ferguson."

At which point you smoothly continue your story: "Ya, ya, anyway my colleague has threatened to leave the company just like Beckham left the team. And then one of my other colleagues ... blah blah blah."

Come to think of it, Beckham can be cunningly slipped into every conversation. "Darling you like my new hairstyle or not? A bit daring kan? My inspiration is Beckham, he doesn't care what anyone says, he will just try out new styles ..."

"Do you like this new sarong I bought for you? You know who elses wears sarongs? Beckham!"

"I made this new chicken dish, I call it the Beckham Fowl ..."

Anyway, back to the World Cup. Most men I know are very into football. Mild mannered most of the time, but come football season, these men transform into angry coach couches. They rant and rave over stupid referee decisions, dubious calls, disputed goals, player transfers, game tactics and so on. They can get quite red in the face during heated discussions, and sometimes I think they're about to burst some vein in the head with the amount of stress they create for themselves.

Personally, I don't get the love affair these men have with football. It's a game. I'll watch it, and sometimes yes it's very exciting, but it's still JUST A GAME. So your team won? So what? Must you go around crowing about it? So your team lost? So what? Not worth committing suicide over.

And by the way, why is it "your team"? Do you own them? Do they know you? No. Do they care about you? Only if you buy their merchandise, I guess. Otherwise, you're just a little speck of dust as far as they're concerned.

I know a few women who are just as much into football and are able to hold their own when it comes to discussions and debates. Nothing wrong with this. I notice however, that their fascination with the game ends there. They aren't members of the fan clubs, they don't salivate over the latest jerseys, bid on ebay for a ball that Thierry Henry once accidentally kicked, and so on.

I still don't get, and will probably never get, the fanaticism surrounding football. The way it turns men into slavish fans, ready to maim and kill fans of another club. Men are willing to wake up at 2 am in the morning to watch a game without complaint. But the baby crying at 2 am? That's the woman's job. Men are willing to stand up for "their" team and defend them to their very last breath. But their girlfriend/wife/sister/mother got harassed by a road bully? "Never mind lah, small matter only." Tikus at all other times, magically transformed into a lion, all because of a ball (and 22 men).

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a perplexed Meow.

P/S For the record, I'm supporting France in the World Cup ;)