Goodbye 2005

Well, boys and girls, the end of the year is almost upon us. How many of you actually stuck to the resolutions you made early this year? And how many will make the same old resolutions come 1 January 2006? Me, I've given up on making them as I can never keep them :)

I'm off on holiday until early next year and will probably not be blogging until I return.

In the meantime, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Be good and stay safe, everyone! If you must be naughty, don't overdo it :) See you all next year ...

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a farewell-to-2005 Meow.

Guest Blogger William Wilstroth's Xmas List

Congratulations to William Wilstroth for winning my latest Guessing Game! As his reward, he gets to be a guest blogger here for a week.

Here's his first post:

With the Christmas season, I can't help but to wish for a few things for myself.

Here is my wish list for Christmas:
1. Increased pay with bonus
2. Increased annual holidays
3. Increased remuneration
4. Increased annual holidays
5. Bigger cubicle
6. Reduce car loan
7. Reduce petrol price
8. Reduce Amcorp's parking fee
9. Reduce Amcorp's food price
10. Increase food variety in Amcorp
11. Reduce my personal debt
12. Increase my facial hair so i can be like wolverine... right now, I am ok lar
13. Increase my height a bit
14. Reduce my weight to 64kg... so it will be ideal .. now i am 66... still ok lar
15. Upgrade my notebook
16. Upgrade my apartment to a bungalow
17. Upgrade my car to a private jet ... Nissan_shift's MURANO
18. Upgrade my orgasme from a few seconds to about 5 minutes. (I am greedy!)

That will be all for my Christmas wish list...

Merry Christmas to Kucing Gatal and all her readers.

- William Wilstroth

Craving the unattainable

My lips yearn for his passionate kisses. My body craves his touch, his loving embrace. My fingers long to caress him, to feel every groove of his body. I want to kiss, lick, tease, torment him with pleasure. I want to possess him completely.

But I can't.

My mind is filled with visions of the unattainable, but I have to content myself with fleeting memories and sweet imaginings.

Life can be so difficult sometimes.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a longing Meow.

The boss's chair

The boss was in bright and early. Everyone who was already at their desk pretended to look super busy and all avoided meeting his gaze. The poor sod who got caught looking at him would be greeted with a huge smile and an invitation to breakfast, during which time a very boring conversation revolving around work would take place. The boss would also seek affirmation that he was doing everything correctly and that everyone who disagreed with him was a total idiot. New employees, especially vapid airheads, would be very eager to join him for breakfast, thinking they had been singled out due to their excellent work performance or their good looks. They quickly learned otherwise.

This morning, the boss didn't look very happy. Eight pairs of eyes peered at him over the top of workstations, wondering what he would do. Sometimes he would rant and rave for no reason, sometimes he would read some joke email and burst out laughing. He really is quite unpredictable.

The boss sat down, then immediately sprang up again.

"Someone's messed with my chair!" he roared.

Eight pairs of eyes looked down quickly, eight pairs of hands started typing furiously.

I risked a glance. The boss was sitting in his chair again, pulling the lever to adjust the height. Up he went, and he squished around a bit, deciding he wasn't comfortable. Down he came, again squishing around trying to get comfy. Finally he stood up and stared at the chair, then stared at us.

"This is not my chair," he concluded.

He took a step towards us.

Eight pairs of eyes glanced at each other. Blogs and other non-work-related websites were quickly shut down. Spreadsheets sprang onto screens. Some frowned at their PCs, trying to look totally absorbed in their work.

The boss walked around, looking at each chair carefully. He eventually came to my cubicle and stood behind me. I swung around.

"Good morning," I said cheerily.

"Is that my chair?" he growled.

"No sir, it's mine."

"It looks like mine."

I got up, just to save us both a lengthy debate on chair ownership rights.

He sat down. Finally concluded it wasn't his, and went off to the next victim.

Ten minutes later we heard him grumbling and mumbling as he made his way back to his own chair after realising that nobody had switched chairs with him. Perhaps he realised that nobody wanted to sit on his ass imprint.

But he had to save face. So he squished around uncomfortably in his chair, while proclaiming that he would "teach the bastard who stole my chair a lesson!"

Eight pairs of eyes glanced at each other, twinkling.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with an amused Meow.

Monday mystery

It's Monday again. Which means most of us are stumbling into the office, wishing we were anywhere else but here. The weekend flew by in a blur and now it's time to get back to the daily grind of spreadsheets, ultra-boring reports and bitchy colleagues.

We all know how hard it is to get started once Sunday night is over. So here's a little something to perk you guys up and get those brain juices flowing.

It's another one of my Guessing Games, only this time it's a visual one. The first person to guess what this image is will win guest blogging rights for a week. Hey, I know it's not a million dollars but it's a great prize nonetheless. Anyone want to argue? *extends claws*

So come on, put on your thinking caps and start guessing. And please make your guesses as specific as possible, for example if you think it's a coconut tree, say 'coconut tree' instead of just 'tree'. The more specific, the better your chances of winning.

Rules:
(1) 1 guess per person
(2) Contest ends 11.59pm Tuesday, December 20 2005.
(3) In the event of a tie, the person who guessed correctly first will win.
(4) If there is no correct guess, I will choose the answer that most amuses me.
(5) Winner will submit all posts to me via email for me to put up. Try not to flood me with posts - as an indication, anything above 10 is pushing it. Topic can be anything under the sun as long as there's no foul language or too much sex/violence.



Clue: Male

I'll give out more clues as the day goes on, if no one is headed in the right direction. But I think it's pretty easy ;)

UPDATE - A couple of changes to the rules:
(1) 1 guess per person every 4 hours
(5) I reserve all editing rights to the posts (after all, standards must be upheld) ;)

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a mysterious Meow.

Dealing with a nasty little boy

I was going through some of my old stuff the other day when I came across a photo album. The memory of how I got that album made me smile and realise how vindictive I had been as a child.

My neighbours had some children my age and I was always invited to their birthday parties. There was always good food and lots of games where you could win prizes. In retrospect, they were some pretty cheesy prizes but when you're a kid, everything looks novel and must be won at all costs.

At one particular party, I noticed this little kid, he had blond hair and blue eyes (my neighbours were foreigners and had a lot of expat friends) and I thought he was pretty cute. I was around 8 years old at that time and hadn't reached the boy-hating age yet.

"Hi," I said brightly to him.

He looked at me and quickly ran off with his friend. I heard him shouting "Girls are yucky!!" as he ran off.

How dare he ignore me, I thought. I was determined to teach him a lesson but didn't know how. Then I saw him looking at the prizes for the games. I snuck up behind him and heard him telling his friend that he wanted to win the photo album.

So of course I resolved to win it first.

The prizes were awarded on a first-come-first-served basis, meaning that whoever won the first game would have first choice, and so on.

The first game started. It was a game of musical chairs. I was so busy keeping an eye out on the little boy that I missed out on chances to win and was soon out. Luckily he was soon out too.

Then the next game started and this was the "statue" game, where we would all jump up and down and dance like robots being electrocuted until the music was turned off, at which point we all had to freeze in whatever pose we were in until the music started up again. Whoever was out could walk around making faces at the "statues", trying to make them laugh and move, thus kicking them out of the game too.

The little boy was soon out of the game. It was down to me and another finalist. The music stopped, I froze in an awkward position with my arms in the air and my legs far apart from each other. The losers quickly surrounded us and made the stupidest faces imaginable. I was just about to giggle when luckily the other kid giggled first and I won.

I was led to the prize section where I pretended to think carefully about the prize I wanted, then eagerly grabbed the album.

"Hey, I wanted that!" the little anti-girl kid said petulantly and stamped his foot.

"Now, now, she won fair and square and she gets to choose," one of the adults told him.

Hah! It was a victory I savoured and as I turned, I stuck my tongue out at him after making sure no adults were looking. It served him right for ignoring me.

I clutched the album triumphantly and turned to walk away. The little twerp decided to retaliate and kicked me. Yes, he actually kicked me in the shins! Then he stuck his tongue out at me before running away.

What a little monster! He obviously didn't have a way with the ladies and wasn't well-mannered enough to know that boys do not hit girls, even if provoked.

Every time I bumped into him after that, I would stick my tongue out at him or make faces at him and he would do the same. After a while we both got tired of it and ignored each other.

I don't remember if I ever saw him again after that. Maybe I've passed by him in the street, not recognising the man he's become, or maybe he's gone home to his own country, who knows. What I do know is that things were so easy in those days. If you didn't like someone you just showed it. As an adult, you learn to hide your feelings and smile serenely even at those you dislike.

If only things could be as simple as they once were ...

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a nostalgic Meow.

Marriage woes

A friend of mine (M) is convinced she's married to the wrong man. She's been married for just over a year but the constant bickering and bouts of silence have dampened her resolve to make the marriage work.

Before she tied the knot, M was convinced that this was the right guy for her. She kept gushing about how happy she was and how she would try and be the best wife in the world because she was so in love.

I was genuinely happy for her and as good girlfriends do, helped her out with the wedding planning and preparations. A week before the wedding, she dropped a bombshell.

"Kucing, I met someone else," she told me casually as she double checked the list of guests.

"Excuse me?" She made it sound like she was talking about the weather.

"It's this guy from work. He's really sweet and all, and we're so attracted to each other. But he knows I'm getting married so we kept our feelings under wraps. Until yesterday."

I dreaded to probe further, but M decided it was time to pour out her heart. She put the list away and turned to face me.

"We went out to dinner yesterday and for some reason we both found it hard to look the other in the eye. I felt like a teenager with a gigantic crush. At the end, when he walked me to my car, his hand brushed against mine and I swear I felt sparks," she said.

I frowned, about to remind her that she was engaged.

"Ya, ya, I know it's totally wrong of me," she said quickly. "But I don't know, Kucing, this guy evokes such strong feelings in me. Feelings that don't surface when I'm with H (her fiance)".

We discussed it in further detail. Apparently this colleague of hers had just broken up with his girlfriend of 5 years. It was obvious to me that he was on the rebound and probably chose M as a safe "target" since she was unavailable.

M had a good head on her shoulders and knew that she had to stop things then and there before things got out of hand. She assured me that she would forget all about her colleague and focus on the wedding.

What I didn't know was that the colleague was a real devil. He was skilled in the art of manipulation and knew how to get under M's skin. An SMS here, a phone call there, some sweet words now and then, and he had M thinking twice.

The night before her wedding she called me. "I'm afraid I'm making a mistake," she wailed.

I assumed it was the normal jitters all brides-to-be went through. But M was convinced that marrying H would be a mistake. Long story short, she decided that she couldn't embarrass her family and call off the wedding at the last minute, so she decided to go through with it.

I warned her to think seriously about it and wanted her to be fair to H. But deep down, I think she truly loved H and was just experiencing some normal fears, and the colleague was just an excuse.

The wedding went off without a hitch. The bride and groom looked radiant, their faces beaming happily in every photo. Everyone remarked how they looked perfect together.

I noticed at one point that M was looking at someone so I turned and noticed a man looking back at her. Was that her colleague? When I got the opportunity, I asked her.

"Yes, that's him," she said.

"Why the hell did you invite him to your wedding? Are you bloody crazy?" I practically screamed.

"Calm down, Kucing, I'm getting married, aren't I? I'm doing the right thing," she said, then smiled sadly.

I let the matter drop. M was old enough to make her own decisions, whatever others may think of them. The day finally ended and M and H went off on their honeymoon.

Much later, when I met up with M again, she told me how the first few weeks were wedded bliss. Everything was rosy and promising, but then cracks started to appear. She started noticing little traits about H that she didn't like. I told her that all couples would go through that. "You never truly know a person until you marry them," I said.

"Ya, but Kucing ... what if I married the wrong guy?"

I was pissed off. "M, only YOU can know that for sure. And only you can make the marriage work. And remember how happy you were when H popped the question? You were so sure that H was the only guy for you!"

M told me she had kept in constant touch with that devil colleague of hers. I knew then that M had reserved a place in her heart for him.

"If you truly want your marriage to work, forget about that colleague of yours. Don't think about the what-ifs, and remind yourself about H's good traits," I advised her.

M knew this was the right thing to do, but her resolve was weak. She couldn't bring herself to cut the devil out of her life. Her marriage began to suffer and H spent more time at work just to avoid coming home to an argumentative wife.

I watched this happening and felt powerless. I wondered why M had gone through with the wedding in the first place if she wasn't sure of her feelings anymore. Surely a little embarrassment caused by calling it off would have saved her years of mental anguish stuck in a failing marriage, I thought. But then, I've not been in that situation so I wouldn't know. Maybe I would do the same thing, who knows?

I recently found out that the colleague has been posted overseas and my first reaction was "good riddance!". I thought M could finally get him out of her life and get on with saving her marriage.

M was really upset to hear he was leaving. She had never done anything physically with him, but had relied on him for emotional support. She actually cried when she heard the news. I hadn't realised that she had become so emotionally attached to the devil.

M now has a chance to focus on fixing whatever's wrong with her marriage, with the devil out of the picture. I don't know if they will keep in touch via email and phone but I really hope that she cuts him out of her life once and for all. H is a nice guy and though he may have his flaws, nobody's perfect. He really loves M and she just needs to ignore his shortcomings or communicate better with him.

That's what I believe, but then again I'm just a third party looking in - I don't know the full picture. To be fair to M, she IS a good wife. She looks after H well, keeps their house clean and is nice to his friends and family. Maybe H really drives her crazy with his flaws, maybe she has tried to change him but he refuses to, maybe he doesn't spend enough time with her or lavish enough attention on her.

Whatever the case may be, for both their sakes, I hope things do work out - they really do make a good couple.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a hopeful Meow.

From self-assured to simpering, just for a man

I cannot stand simpering idiots, and by that I specifically mean girls who are in actual fact smart, but act stupid or manja around their boyfriends to get attention.

I know this girl, let's call her C. She has both beauty and brains, and can debate world economics with you just as easily as she can gush over how cute Orlando Bloom is in his latest movie.

C recently found herself a new man (A). He's not terribly good-looking but boy does he ooze charm. He can charm the pants off even the iciest maiden. He's left a string of broken hearts behind him, and really, I don't know what C sees in him but then again love is blind. He must have charmed her into falling for him.

Anyway, C told me that A prefers his women to be simple and fawning - well, not in those exact words but I kind of caught the gist. Basically he wants a woman who will agree with everything he says, laugh at all his jokes and let him make all the decisions.

I find it incredible that C still wants to be with A despite knowing this. She, who has a strong opinion on everything and isn't afraid to voice it, is willing to be a doormat just for him.

I suppose it has something to do with the fact that C has been single for a couple of years now after having her heart brutally broken by a real bastard. I shall spare you the details of her previous relationship but just know that he was physically abusive towards the end and she basically threw him out. She's the kind to stand up for herself and not take crap from anyone.

Still, for her to do an about turn and go out with someone seeking a bimbotic girlfriend is hard for me to digest.

I went out with both of them recently and noticed how C has changed. Whatever A said, she would share his opinion. She would giggle at every funny thing he said or did, and she would talk in that irritating manja manner. For example, "Sayang, bila nak pergi shopping dengan I, I boring lah duduk kat rumah," she would complain in a sing-song voice and pout. And he would respond in an equally nauseating manner. "Don't worry darling, this weekend kita pergi shopping ok? I nak beli komputer baru. Kita pergi Sg Wang Plaza ok?"

I know C hates that place, she finds it full of ah bengs and ah liens who like to talk loudly and push their way around if there's a crowd. And she hates crowds too.

The old C would have said, "Sg Wang Plaza??? Over my dead body! I hate that place. Let's go to Midvalley instead."

But the new C simply batted her eyelashes and said, "Oh, boleh, I pun ingin nak pergi sana, I nak beli jeans."

"I beli untuk you lah, darling. Anything you want, just tell me," he cooed back at her.

Gah! I cannot stand the simpering! When did C become such an annoying twit?

Maybe she doesn't want to lose A. Maybe he is a gem of a person. Hell, maybe he's great in bed. Always give the benefit of the doubt if you don't know the full story.

But for now, I will steer clear of C until her mind returns and she's back to her old self.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with an anti-simpering Meow.

Tudung/Burqa: Women should have a choice

Arabian women are beautiful. Arguably the most beautiful in the world, except for Aishwarya Rai of course.

They have flawless skin, beautiful big expressive eyes and sharp features, and are just a joy to look at. So it's a real pity that most of them hide behind veils.

If Arab women were allowed to participate in beauty contests, the rest of the world needn't bother sending in their contestants.

If only women made the rules in the world, not men ...

I wonder why the men have imprisoned women behind those thick black burqas. Who are they trying to protect the women from? Lecherous men? If that was the case, why are incidents of rape and adultery still occurring? It's men that are the perpetrators, these men are the ones who should be punished. Those who can't get a woman will rape young boys instead. So why aren't young boys put in burqas for their own protection as well?

You say that the Quran has stipulated that women's aurat should be covered. Well, that doesn't include the face and hands. Why cover them up entirely and reduce them to the status of objects?

Some cover up to protect themselves from dust and sand. OK, well and good. What about in good weather? What about when they are visiting a foreign country?

Women should be given the choice to clothe themselves as they see fit. They should be able to run their lives as they choose to, answering to nobody but the Almighty for their behaviour. Men are given that choice, and not all choose to live a noble life. Why take that choice away from women?

Yes, men are supposed to protect women. But do not imprison the women under the guise of providing that protection.

I get really frustrated when I hear about people forcing women to wear the tudung or the burqa. I hear that in public universities in Malaysia, girls are ostracised if they do not don the headscarf. Peer pressure is such that girls will succumb to it and cover up, but that doesn't mean they live a pious life.

On the contrary, some start to rebel. And at nights, off comes the tudung, on come the skimpy clothes, and off they go to the most happening nightclub to dance and drink the night away. Come morning, they are once again demure and modestly clad.

Compare this to a woman who doesn't wear a tudung, but prays five times a day and fulfills her duties and obligations. She doesn't have any vices and is a wonderful daughter, sister, wife and mother. Is she less of a Muslim just because she doesn't cover her hair?

My opinion is that no man, being a mortal, should pronounce judgment on a woman for living her life the way she wants to (criminal activities being an exception of course).

Only God has that right.

If Muslim women did not want to wear the burqa/tudung, fine. Let them be (like this woman). Conversely, if they wanted to wear it, let them wear it. Do not take away that right from them as has happened in this case and this case.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a stand-up-for-women's-rights Meow.

Swedish drama student learns that porn is NOT for kids

I've just read that a Swedish drama student was fined for reading pornographic stories to a group of six-year-olds as part of a theatre project on children's sexuality.

A Stockholm court ruled the stories the man had read out were deeply pornographic and completely inappropriate for the age group. The two stories concerned homosexual and oral sex acts between eight-year-old boys and girls.

Apparently the children were filmed during the readings to study their facial expressions.

The man's lawyer told Swedish radio that he would appeal against the verdict as he had not meant the stories to be seen as pornographic and had not acted with intent.

Another report said that the reading was part of a project by a Stockholm drama school to study children and their sexual awareness and understanding about love and their own bodies.

I find this unbelievable. There's a BIG difference between teaching children to love their own bodies and reading out porn to them. This student couldn't have been so dumb as to not know the difference and to not realise the trouble he would be getting himself into.

For God's sake, these are young and innocent children! And you're reading them a story that involves sex? Those poor kids, their minds must be warped now.

What was he thinking?? He's lucky to be getting away with just a fine.

Till next time, this is Kucing Gatal signing out with a disbelieving Meow.